You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
