there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
