he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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