My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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