Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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