this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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