you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
