I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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