No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
