Got a toothbrush?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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