I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
