at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
