quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
