do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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