When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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