do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The feeling are messing with the penis
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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