i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
