I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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