You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Randomize
