My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
how drunk are you?
Several
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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