THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
