He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
