So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
