if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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