Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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