How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Randomize
