Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
