Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
