He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
