i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Let's get the cat blown out
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
