Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
