fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
