Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
