Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
