hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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