we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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