I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
