the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
3 2 1 whiskey
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
