She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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