I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
