i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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