she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
