WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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