Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Where is the hickey?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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