We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
