I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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