He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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