Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
barbara walters just said penis...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
