then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We left an ass print on the piano.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Shame - the story of my life.
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