I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
