when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
