There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
