come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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